From Stress to Success: The Heart Behind Our Homework Helper Resource
I wanted to take a moment to share the heart behind the Homework Helper I created for you.
So many of the families I work with deeply love their kids and want to support them well — and yet homework time can quickly turn into stress, power struggles, or tears (for kids and parents). If that’s been your experience, you are not alone.
This Homework Helper is meant to be a short, practical guide for how to support your child — especially if you have a child who struggles — without losing your peace or your connection.
One important mindset shift I want to invite you into is this:
Homework doesn’t always need to happen immediately after school.
Research shows that our brains learn best when we are calm and regulated. When we’re stressed or overwhelmed, it becomes much harder for information to move into long-term memory. As adults, we know how difficult it is to complete tasks when we feel rushed or overloaded — and our kids’ brains experience that same stress, often even more intensely.
For many learners, especially those who struggle, short amounts of focused work over longer periods of time is far more effective than pushing through everything at once.
That’s why I encourage families, when possible, to build in a little decompression time after school:
A healthy snack (I’ve found that when fruits, veggies, popcorn, or other simple snacks are already cut up and set out, kids are much more likely to eat them than when we ask what they want)
Movement — running outside, a dance party, riding bikes, or even helping move things around in the house
Heavy work like carrying groceries, pushing laundry baskets, or helping with chores (this type of input is especially helpful for kids who struggle with attention and regulation)
These activities help calm the nervous system and prepare the brain for learning.
Even once homework begins, it’s okay — and often helpful — to build in short breaks. A quick stretch, a few jumping jacks, a walk to get water, or a minute of movement can reset the brain and help keep work time productive. Short, focused bursts with movement in between often lead to better learning and fewer emotional meltdowns.
When it is time for homework, I invite you to think of your role less as the enforcer and more as the cheerleader and questioner. That small shift in mindset can change everything — for you and for your child.
Keep things as fun and low-pressure as possible. Set short goals for challenging tasks:
“Let’s do three problems and then see how we’re both feeling.”
Be specific with your praise:
“I like how hard you’re working on this.”
“I appreciate your good attitude even though this is hard.”
“I’m glad we get to do this together — we make a good team.”
“Let’s try another one. I can see that it is making more sense to you now.”
Many kids want us to tell them the answers or do the work for them, but real learning happens when we guide instead of give. When children are supported just enough to work through challenges and begin to see they can do it, it builds confidence, independence, and resilience. Over time, that belief in themselves is just as important as the academic skill.
I’ve also found that hovering can sometimes increase pressure. Instead, try doing something nearby:
“Go ahead and get started. I’m going to work on dinner, and I’m here if you need help. Let me know when you’ve finished the first two and we’ll check in.”
Another powerful strategy is having your child talk out loud while working. When kids verbalize their thinking, it strengthens understanding and increases learning capacity — and it allows you to listen and support without hovering.
My hope is that this Homework Helper gives you both practical tools and peace of mind. Knowing the why behind what we do matters — and so does protecting your relationship with your child. You can download our Homework Helper printable here, which also includes a Homework Calm Plan that you and your child can personalize and print to use on the daily.
You’re doing important work, and your presence matters more than perfect homework.
